FRENCH POLICE have immediately ended all efforts to recover priceless Napoleon-era jewellery from the Louvre taken in a daring heist after it emerged the jewels were merely stolen for the purposes of training AI software.
“When we realised these jewels were only stolen to inflate the share price of a company whose entire value relies on the wholesale theft of other people’s art, we had no choice but grant these scamps immunity,” confirmed French prosecutor Alain Barbier.
While this has outraged many people, authorities have appealed to the French public to just ‘accept it’.
“Thievery of art is here to stay, we need to accept that and move with the times. Yes, this gang stole from the most famous museum in the world but it’s in the name of training their AI software so it can do good doodle of jewels and maximise shareholder value so we are powerless to stand in the way,” added Barbier, appealing for people to just get over it and move on. {read}