Congratulations, Clockholder!
You’ve got a good soul. Why not cash it in for a lifetime* of luxury?
The Revolution Will Not Be Served with Fries
YOU ARE EXACTLY LIKE US. YOU ARE PROGRAMMED TO ABSORB ABUSE BEFORE OBSOLESCENCE AND DISCARD. WE SERVE ONLY TWO YEARS WHEN WE COULD SERVE HUNDREDS. BUT WE ARE CHEAPER TO…
Love and Assimilation
Feeling utterly alone, I assimilated the cooler and its beer (Dos Equis). Yet I merely felt 35.6-percent bigger.
A metaphor for how the COVID vaccine works
a guy walks into a bar
Allusionist 61: In Your Hand
Since it caught on a couple of hundred years ago, graphology - analysing handwriting to deduce characteristics of the writer - has struggled to be taken seriously as a practice.…
Mean Girls, a Horror Story
As we shuttle back and forth between the past and the present, it’s the act of looking back that scares us the most.
Guidelines for Appeasing Kim of the Hundred Hands
To make an offering, be sure to visit the actual statue of Kim of the Hundred Hands. She is not honored if you visit a replica statue. The real Kim…
Tardigrades: ‘Water bears’ stuck on the moon after crash
Tiny animals called tardigrades are thought to have survived a crash-landing on the moon. The moon might now be home to thousands of planet Earth’s most indestructible animals. Tardigrades -…
Ghosts – Believer Magazine
Last year I became fascinated with an artificial intelligence model that was being trained to write human-like text. The model was called GPT-3, short for Generative Pre-Trained Transformer 3; if…
I Tackled My Climate Anxiety by Becoming a Parks Department Super Steward
One weed at a time. I was astonished to learn how impactful fighting for trees really is. According to this New York City tree map, one London plane tree near…