In a recent TikTok video, in which she broke down the ways white people treat solidarity with BIPOC as optional, Barbarin explained that if BIPOC don’t ask nicely, white people can and do revoke that solidarity.

“White people never miss an opportunity to remind you that their solidarity with you is optional,” she said. “If you’re not nice while asking for it, they have the option to tap out. Racism for them is a special interest; racism for you is your life.”